FICTION OF TRUTH

“Don't apologize for your ideals if there’s nothing supposed to hide”

SONGWRITING

The idea behind the melody of the verses was inspired by the song One more night of Maroon 5. I remember that the intro of the Maroon 5's song surprised me when I first listened to it because it was very abrupt and explosive and I wanted that for one of my songs too. I wanted one of my songs to be catchy and less alternative than the ones I'm used to writing. Based on that melody, I started to think about the lyrics that would accompany it, and the word Hollywood came to mind. Then, I had the idea of writing a song about capitalism and my personal beliefs against it; and as I was writing the lyrics, which were complicated to rhyme, I realized that my feelings about this mentioned capitalism were actually ambivalent. On one hand, I found it shallow and unfair for some people and, on the other hand, I was feeling hypocritical because, one way or another, I was taking advantage of it so, eventually, that dualism ended up being reflected on the lyrics. The first part of the song is a critique and the second one is a tribute. What I basically meant to reflect with it is that everything depends on how each one of us sees the world and how our unique and particular perspective can change everything. There are also references to fame, money, and Illuminati in the song, which was partly inspired by the great Lady Gaga, who I deeply admire. Her album Born this way and the song Hair helped me a lot when they were released, not only to find an escape from my inner demons back then but to encourage me to open my mouth to sing out loud without feeling ashamed. I’m very proud of this song as a songwriter and I think that represents quite effectively the chaotic spirit of the album.

PRODUCTION

We had some difficulties with this one, especially with the chords. My guitar teacher participated actively in choosing the chords and we made some changes that gave the composition more depth and complexity without losing the original spirit. There are some variations in the melody at the end of the song that was his idea and I really like them. On a production level, I like the guitar solo after the first chorus very much and I think the voice sounds pretty good in this one too, especially in the chorus. I'd say that this is one of my favorite songs on the album, both as a production and a composition.

MAGNOLIA TRIBUTE

I watched this movie for the first time like 4 months before having the psychotic break and it didn’t cause me no paranoia, fortunately, in contrast to other movies that were stuck in my mind during that horrifying event. That’s a clear sign that it is a very positive movie. What did get stuck in my head in a good way was the ending of the movie, which made the 3 hours length of the movie worthwhile watching, without devaluating what happens in between. I will never forget how good that memorable smile at the end made me feel and how the Aimee Mann song Save me in the background made it even more beautiful. Later and according to what one of our scriptwriting teachers told us one day in class, I found out that the whole idea of the movie is based on and inspired by that singer, who participated in the movie by exclusively writing the songs that conform the soundtrack.

This movie is a must for any cinema lover. It got a little eclipsed by the release of American Beauty the same year, but despite the fact that both movies are great and unique in their particular ways, I still believe that Magnolia deserved more recognition. I feel very connected to the whole philosophical spirit of the movie. Lots of messages can be derived from the dialogues and that’s one of the things I like most about the main characters. They are brutally honest about their problems and explicitly express them loud and clear so that the inner voice of the writer gets very concise here. The beginning is also brilliant, with that voice-over explaining these different stories about those so-called coincidences that could be interpreted as something more meaningful and feasible.

A personal living almost obligated me to introduce the tribute video with the restaurant scene, in which Claudia talks about being honest in life and how white lies or silences are capable of killing people. The Leviathan song is highly inspired by that dialogue and it obviously could not be missed in the tribute video. 

THESIS

The thesis of Magnolia, just like in the Donnie Darko movie case, can be hard to determine because there may be more than just one. There are a lot of messages in this movie. One of the messages is clearly related to this idea of being honest and sincere about our feelings but, in my opinion, Magnolia is mainly about forgiveness. I remember that line in which one of the characters says that it’s not a bad thing to have regrets in life and that it’s ok to make mistakes because we’re all human beings and as long as we are conscious of those mistakes, we’re always in time to ask for forgiveness.

Thesis: It’s ok to have regrets in life.

ALBUM RECOMMENDATION (Juliette and The Licks - Four on the Floor)

I discovered this album in 2007, during the Myspace era, and it meant a shaking great surprise to me. I used to listen to The Cranberries, Evanescence, or Garbage back then and I started to discover new music thanks to the Myspace website, while I was also taking conscience about how necessary music was for me and, more concretely, how crucial these female rocker songs were to me as a means of escaping from reality and all the bullying situation I was going through in high school. This is clearly a rock and roll music album or, even better, a female rock and roll music album. What else can you ask for? This album is one of these hidden gems that deserve much more recognition. Full of energy and spirit, the album contains 11 songs and they all fit in perfectly. If you like Courtney Love or Garbage, you’re gonna love this album, although this one is more classical, without any kind of tricks or crafts. I would say that this album and PJ Harvey’s Stories from the City, Stories from the Sea are my favorites of this genera. They’re both clear examples of how the music made by strong females can truly rule and shake our senses. Better than an orgasm!

Favorite songs: Smash and Grab, Hot Kiss, Purgatory Blues, Get Up, Mind Full of Daggers, and Inside the Cage.

LEVIATHAN

“When all the lectures sound the same, the snake keeps biting its own tail”

SONGWRITING

I heard about the Hobbes theory from a friend I met at the cinema school. We were coursing the same degree in scriptwriting after we had finished our cinema direction and production career, and we had to write a storyline for a project about a tv series idea of our own. Later, I found out that this concept is also referred to as a biblical monster and I started to visualize in my mind the idea of the song, which is about society and the code of silence, as a metaphor for the Leviathan in itself. I’m part of the group of people who believe that an individual doesn’t need society to be developed correctly and that society is the one corrupting people, though the song is more focused on the code of silence mentioned earlier. To me, this is related to those situations where you know that something wrong is happening but no one dares to speak up because of fear or because no one else around is willing to either.  Many of these situations happen in our everyday lives because people are afraid of being honest. It could be applied to a bullying conflict, for example, where people around witnessing the whole thing become confident of the bully. In my opinion, these people who are supposed to be neutral end up being the most dangerous ones because they choose to do nothing when they could make a difference. It’s like that famous Albert Einstein quote:

“The world will not be destroyed by those who do evil, but by those who watch them without doing anything”

We are made of those implied silences and, in the end, it all comes down to these significant things not being said at the moment. In this shallow world, these things are more important than we imagine and this is what the lyrics of this song are about. I’m quite proud of them as a songwriter and I like the melody as well, although it is not one of my favorites among the other ones on the album. I think that, in this particular case, the message is more important than the music in itself.

PRODUCTION

Once again, the producer did a great job. The sound of the guitar arpeggio after the first chorus kinda reminds me of the System of a Down song Lonely Day. I love that song! I like the break after the second chorus as well, which came really fast during the songwriting process. There were little differences with the producer about some parts of the structure, which was supposed to be shorter in the beginning but I think the final result is pretty satisfactory.

BLACK SWAN TRIBUTE

I watched this movie at the theatre when it came out and I remember that it felt like I knew it was going to become one of my favorites by some kind of design or fate. I could not really enjoy it back then, not because of the plot or the quality, but because of the circumstances, I was going through, which would not allow me to enjoy barely anything. Although I was more or less capable of understanding the movie, I could not empathize with the main character even having similar issues, but that’s what schizophrenia is: a constant contradiction in the way you perceive reality. 

This movie has clearly sufficient personality to be considered a cult film. I like how the metaphors of the main character's duality give the film a gothic style that I personally love. The aesthetic has been made with a lot of care and coherent with the script, which makes the whole schizophrenia story easy to understand for anyone without giving too many details away at first sight. Natalie Portman’s performance is amazing, no doubt she deserved the Oscar.

I originally used another song from the album for this tribute video but, after having meditated a little, I decided to change the song because the lyrics of the other one were more suitable for a different video and the song that I have finally used for Black Swan is more connected to the movie. This rocker style may be too heavy for the images but contrasts can be good sometimes. 

THESIS

I think I have a clear idea about how to determine the thesis of this movie because I can speak from my own experience. As I explained in the post about Schizophrenic Antichrist, schizophrenia has something to do with vulnerability and some people equate being vulnerable with being weak, so everyone tends to immunize their senses in order not to get hurt, but people who are extremely sensitive can’t help but be who they are so they end up repressing themselves. I think something similar happens to the main character of the movie: she’s very sensitive in contrast to the other characters, who are shown as rather careless people; and the relation of the main character with her mother denotes a lot of repressions as well. So I believe that these two factors are crucial in triggering Nina's descent into madness. She’s a victim of her own fear but her fear is also caused by the people around her who don’t give a shit about anything else than themselves. 

Thesis: Hypersensitive people who have been extremely repressed are more vulnerable to developing paranoid schizophrenia. 

ALBUM RECOMMENDATION (Dover - Devil Came To Me)

The second album of the Spanish band Dover was very popular in the 90s, especially here in Spain where it became a massive success and made them emerge as one of the most relevant bands in the worldwide grunge/rock scene back then. After that, they started to work with Barrett Johnson (one of the producers of Nirvana) and recorded their two following albums with him. These two albums are my favorites, especially the album I Was Dead For 7 Weeks In The City of Angels, which I will speak about in more detail in a future post as an album recommendation too. But despite this personal preference and just like most people and the band themselves say, I would claim that Devil Came To Me is their best album. This record not only contains the most popular hit in their career (Serenade) but is also very conceptual and mixes perfectly the balance between their grungy style and their pop melodies. The lyrics are pretty pessimist and dark and, as I said before, connected to the whole concept of the album (Christian religion and the devil).

 Experiments with other music styles aside, like their dancy album, Follow The City Lights, which I don’t completely dislike but it made a really bad impression on some of their fans, I think that they are a great band and I love them both as musicians and songwriters. 

Favorite songs: Devil Came To Me, Serenade, Winter Song, Spectrum, Rain Of Times, Judas, and Sick Girl.

SCHIZOPHRENIC ANTICHRIST

“I don’t care you’re calling me serious clown”

SONGWRITING

We all have demons inside and the only way of defeating them is to accept that they are inevitably part of us, so that we can face and control them. This song came up in a pretty visceral way and both verse and chorus occurred to me abruptly with their respective lyrics. I had the melody of Bon Jovi’s song Have A Nice Day running through my head and I wanted something very powerful to express, once again, this feeling of rage about that boy I was in love with, who hadn't treated me very well. What I particularly like about this song is the irony of expressing this powerlessness felling with such powerful and straightforward words. I think that these lyrics could not be more honest and true to who I am. This song defines perfectly this unapologetic part of me that was always repressed when I was hiding in the closet in high school. I have always been a very sincere and honest person with strong opinions and ideas that I’m not willing to deny anymore. It’s hard for all of us to be true to our hearts sometimes but there’s too much injustice and inequality in this world to just deny it. I don't like those people who are extremely positive and say that everything depends on your attitude in front of the world. Tell people who are dying from starvation that everything depends on their attitude. I guess that my point is that you can’t pretend that everything is perfect and cling to a false ideal because that’s one of the main causes of this ambivalence we are experiencing nowadays in a world where some people have plenty of riches and others have just nothing. And digging deeper into the song's message, I would even dare to say that this is one of the factors that cause mental illnesses too. Our society lives in a constant contradiction where we stumble on each other in order to be the most successful without directly admitting it. Everything is about fake looks and nothing comes from the heart. As I understand it, schizophrenia is about being vulnerable and we are the most vulnerable when we are not alone so then, I don't understand why people are always hiding their true feelings instead of finding the right balance between being respectful and honest. Being vulnerable is beautiful, you just gotta learn to let go and be true to yourself.

PRODUCTION

The instrumental of this song was entirely made by Marcel Sabater. The original demo had only a pad and the recorded voice, so he created those rocker guitars giving the song a more rebel character. The original melody of the voice was also changed in the choruses as a result of experimentation with the producer and I like this new direction the song went into. I recorded the voice twice, since the first time I did I couldn't really hit some notes due to an accident I had. So, when I was able to hit higher notes, we recorded the song in a higher key, which we did with other songs in this record as well, so that the voice would sound brighter.

SAW TRIBUTE - GAME OVER

The first Saw movie brought back a little glance of originality to the horror genre in 2004, with a script that had enough entity to create a renovated formula that would repeat itself with 6 sequels that were practically made in a row during the following years. This franchise made the torture porn sub-genera and its "dirty" visual style emerge as one of the most popular and demanded tendencies in horror, with other remarkably known franchises such as Wolf Creek or Hostel, back in the 2000's decade. I personally like the original and the first sequel, Saw 2. After that, I think that the formula tries only to get bigger and gorier without being original. However and no matter how repetitive they end up being, I've seen all of them and I think that this franchise can be clearly considered a cult phenomenon due to its unique visual style and story. It reminds of Scream somehow, since both franchises introduced refreshing elements in the first movie and they both did well at the box office back in their respective decades.

I wasn’t sure about this tribute video because the lyrics of the song that I used for it are about a breakup. The rocker music style contains that angry feeling that fits appropriately this type of video but it is still obvious that, in the end, it’s a song about a rupture. I searched for different movies but it was very hard to find one whose story would fit in with the theme of the song. The Game or Scream came to mind but I finally decided that, despite the simplicity of mixing the concept behind the song title with the whole sadist games idea in the Saw universe, no other combination could be better.

THESIS

In my opinion, this movie is about the prize that you pay sometimes for your mistakes. It is clearly and directly related to the classical idea of CARPE DIEM but the thesis goes beyond. It’s about taking responsibility for your acts because they affect other people’s lives and you must take responsibility for the consequences. 

However, I believe that this type of movie cannot be taken too seriously. I have always been a big fan of horror and I think that some jewels of cinema are part of this genre but I admit that, in most cases, horror films tend to be pointless and focused only on making a scary impression without digging too deep into it.

Thesis: Be careful about your acts in life because they implicate consequences.

ALBUM RECOMMENDATION - SHERYL CROW (Self-titled)

The self-titled album of Sheryl Crow was for me a great discovery that I found in one of the small music shops of Carrer Tallers in Barcelona, back in 2012. I used to go there to spend some time trying to forget about how shitty my life was and I bought lots of my favorite albums there. As happened to me with many other artists, I got interested in Sheryl Crow because of my favorite singer Ainhoa, who had written on her Facebook page some of her musical influences, which included Muse, Placebo, Juliette Lewis, PJ Harvey and the mentioned Sheryl Crow, to name a few. I randomly picked up this Sheryl Crow album that day in Carrer Tallers and it clearly was a good decision, for I was very surprised about how good the album was when I first listened to it, right after getting home. I remember that I listened to the whole album in one go because I enjoyed it a lot and I feel the same way still every time that I listen to it again. I must confess that I haven’t listened to Crow's entire discography, mostly her hits and random songs, though I presume that this must be her best album because it’s just amazing. I think her voice sounds great in it and the songs, especially the lyrics, are very relevant even today. Essential for the nineties vibe lovers!

Favorite songs: Maybe Angels, A Change Would Do You Good, Redemption Day, If It Makes You Happy, Every Day Is A Winding Road and Love Is A Good Thing.

GAME OVER

“You were never real, that’s fine with me”

SONGWRITING 

This song went through diverse phases. I really wanted to write something very powerful and overwhelming to express this feeling of rage for a boy who hadn’t treated me very well so, the first part I wrote was the verse and its abrupt melody. The bridge was also pretty clear from the beginning but, after that, I didn’t know how to continue the song, so I started to search into my memories for other existing lyrics and melodies I had already composed in the past and mixed them in a chaotic way, trying for them to make sense and fit in with the rest. Then, I showed the demo to the producer and he wasn’t 100 % convinced about it so, after one of our sessions where we tried to get to an agreement in vain, I decided to change the chorus for something simpler and more effective. He really liked the changes so we proceeded to follow that direction. In the end, the song turned out to be very different from how I had imagined it in the beginning but yet, more effective and coherent undoubtedly! It is not one of my favorites as a composition but I really love the result of the recorded vocals! And I think that the lyrics are very honest and easy to relate to. This song is clearly about a frustrated crush and I would humbly like to believe that it could resemble some of the fierce and furious songs from my favorite rocker female artists such as Anouk or Alanis Morissette. 

PRODUCTION

After these changes in the songwriting were made, the music production was pretty clear. What we did differently, in this case, was to change the key in which the song was originally composed for a higher one, so that the voice would sound stronger and brighter. Some parts were a little difficult to sing but I felt pretty confident that day at the studio and I'm very proud of the result of the vocals in this one. The voice sounds strong and full of character and so do the mix and the master made by the producer. I'd say that this is the best song in the album concerning sonic production.

DONNIE DARKO TRIBUTE - Straight in Circles Upside Down

• Why are you wearing that stupid bunny suit? 
• Why are you wearing that stupid man suit?

My relationship with this movie is very curious. I became an instant fan after watching it for the first time because I found it magnetizing and I even made an important project about the movie for high school, at the end of second grade. Little did I know back then how that fiction would become part of my reality later when I experienced a psychotic break in my own skin.

The main character, who gives the movie its title and is wonderfully portrayed by Jake Gyllenhaal, has paranoid schizophrenia. But the truth is that I was never really conscious about the movie using this illness as one of its main themes before suffering the psychotic break myself. In fact, I wasn’t even conscious that having a psychotic break had something to do with the illness until 2 or 3 years after the breakdown. I guess that this was due to the fact that schizophrenia is, among mental illnesses, the greatest unknown of them all. Now, with some distance and considerable stability, I can understand better the movie and although some nostalgia has been lost along the way, it will always remain one of my favorite movies and main references, speaking in cinema terms. 

For this movie tribute video, I chose the song Straight In Circles Upside Down. As I explained in the latest post, the song is about alternate universes and versions of ourselves so, although the lyrics don’t really fit in with the story of the movie, I believe their spirit and background do. The idea of the circles as a metaphor for diverse perspectives and understandings of reality has a lot to do with the universe of the movie, and the line that is drawn between design and desire fits with the inner dilemmas of the main character as well, who seems to be unable to choose about his fate. I chose the scene where Donnie speaks to her psychologist about his beliefs as an introduction to the video because I personally feel the same way about life and it is the most important scene of the movie, according to director Richard Kelly.

THESIS

It’s hard to determine a single thesis for this movie. I would say that it has multiple: the movie deals with lots of subjects such as time travel, fate, family and teenage relationships, social criticism, bullying, and mental illness. each one of these subjects may derive its own philosophical message.  The final scene, inspired by the personal life of the director, is pretty revealing. I’m not sure what he wanted to transmit with it exactly, but I personally interpret it as the incapability of human beings to connect with each other. The movie contains lots of memorable phrases and lines too. I love the dialogue between Donnie and Frank at the theatre where the lines that introduce this post are reproduced, simply epic! But if I had to choose one line that could also serve as a thesis, it would be the one that Donnie pronounces in the English class, speaking about the Graham Greene short story. He says that the fact that the characters burn the money is an irony in that story because destroying is a form of creation and that would be the thesis for me or, at least, one of them. Life is unexpected and each second of it is being destructed and renewed at the same time. I also connect a lot with the idea of not following the crowd that this message implies. 

Thesis: DESTRUCTION IS A FORM OF CREATION.