SCHIZOPHRENIC ANTICHRIST

“I don’t care you’re calling me serious clown”

SONGWRITING

We all have demons inside and the only way of defeating them is to accept that they are inevitably part of us, so that we can face and control them. This song came up in a pretty visceral way and both verse and chorus occurred to me abruptly with their respective lyrics. I had the melody of Bon Jovi’s song Have A Nice Day running through my head and I wanted something very powerful to express, once again, this feeling of rage about that boy I was in love with, who hadn't treated me very well. What I particularly like about this song is the irony of expressing this powerlessness felling with such powerful and straightforward words. I think that these lyrics could not be more honest and true to who I am. This song defines perfectly this unapologetic part of me that was always repressed when I was hiding in the closet in high school. I have always been a very sincere and honest person with strong opinions and ideas that I’m not willing to deny anymore. It’s hard for all of us to be true to our hearts sometimes but there’s too much injustice and inequality in this world to just deny it. I don't like those people who are extremely positive and say that everything depends on your attitude in front of the world. Tell people who are dying from starvation that everything depends on their attitude. I guess that my point is that you can’t pretend that everything is perfect and cling to a false ideal because that’s one of the main causes of this ambivalence we are experiencing nowadays in a world where some people have plenty of riches and others have just nothing. And digging deeper into the song's message, I would even dare to say that this is one of the factors that cause mental illnesses too. Our society lives in a constant contradiction where we stumble on each other in order to be the most successful without directly admitting it. Everything is about fake looks and nothing comes from the heart. As I understand it, schizophrenia is about being vulnerable and we are the most vulnerable when we are not alone so then, I don't understand why people are always hiding their true feelings instead of finding the right balance between being respectful and honest. Being vulnerable is beautiful, you just gotta learn to let go and be true to yourself.

PRODUCTION

The instrumental of this song was entirely made by Marcel Sabater. The original demo had only a pad and the recorded voice, so he created those rocker guitars giving the song a more rebel character. The original melody of the voice was also changed in the choruses as a result of experimentation with the producer and I like this new direction the song went into. I recorded the voice twice, since the first time I did I couldn't really hit some notes due to an accident I had. So, when I was able to hit higher notes, we recorded the song in a higher key, which we did with other songs in this record as well, so that the voice would sound brighter.