THE QUEST!ON

“What am I if I don’t believe in love?”

SONGWRITING

This was one of the first songs that were written with the idea of being included in an album. It was 2013 and I had already decided on the title of the album knowing that I wanted it to be dark and rocker, so I started to write the first verse of the song, partly inspired by the great song Drive of Incubus. It was a time when writing songs and flowing through the process was still very difficult for me because there was a lot of insecurity and chaos in my life but, after finishing writing the first verse, I remember that I felt very proud of it because I felt like it was something really coherent and connected to that moment in life, I felt like I wrote something very honest that was coming from the heart. 

I’m an agnostic but I’ve always had this tendency of believing that there is more than meets the eye. When I was being bullied in high school I clung to the idea of God very tightly because I guess it’s natural that when you’re feeling so alone you need to believe in something else in order to stay alive or, at least, that’s what happened to me. You start dialoguing with yourself until you become crazy and, in the end, you stop asking questions because it’s worthless and they're not gonna solve the problems that are happening here and now. I would say that this is what the song is about. It’s about letting go of doubts and fears and starting to fight for recovering who you really are. 

I’m very proud of this song on a songwriting level. I really like the structure and how each part of the song leads to one another, emphasizing the burdens of contradiction in life. There’s a true meaning behind the lyrics and they make a lot of sense to me. I would say that it’s one of my favorite songs on the album with no doubt.

PRODUCTION

I’ve recorded the song two times. The first time, with a lower key, I didn’t like how the voice sounded so I decided to record it again with a higher one. Now, I really like the voice. The saddest part is that on the first recording there was an amazing guitar solo after the second chorus that has been excluded on the last one. Anyway, I still prefer this version because, after all, the voice is more important and it sounds for almost the whole song while the solo sounded only for 10 seconds.